Something that I have envied over the past year are the tweets and the status updates that mention a group of men going to their “fraternity group” or their “book and a bagel club” to meet, socialize, hold each other accountable, sharpen each other, and grow together.
As I have mentioned this idea to some, I have heard, “I do not have time to fit something else in my schedule”. I understand. But I think that the sacrifice that might be required to make time for a group like this would be well invested.
Here are some reasons that I think a mens group is important and necessary:
1. Men Do Not Have Friends
– I mean we have golf buddies, work colleagues, and church acquaintances but we are not very good at establishing enjoyable lasting transparent friendships with other men. I recently started reading a book called: “Men Without Friends” and it has explained how hard it is for most men to build friendships. I remember growing up and hearing my Dad tell me how he had no friends, and I thought that was unusual, but the fact is that it is not. Far too many men have not sought out and invested into friendships and therefore they are not being sharpened, encouraged, and held accountable like they should be! “Iron sharpeneth Iron, so a MAN sharpeneth the countenance of HIS FRIENDS!!!
2. Men Do Not Have Accountability
– Now I know, that is a scary word, but it is so important. I have heard over and over through college and through different podcasts and other methods of learning how important and necessary accountability is. The problem is: What kind of guy wants to walk up to another man, and admit that he is not superman, admit that he makes mistakes, admit that he struggles with something, and then ask that other man to help him with it? None! That is not natural! If a guy walks up to me and pours all his baggage out and ask me to hold him accountable, I have to admit, it is a little uncomfortable, and I am a pastor!!! If a group of guys meet together on a regular basis there is an automatic and much more comfortable form of accountability. The word of God says that a 3 chord string is not quickly broken, how about a ten chord string?
3. Men Do Not Grow
As I was growing up, I would go over to my grandmother’s house and measure my growth on the back of one of their doors. It was so exciting to see where I was and see how far I have come! At about 17 years old, I stopped growing. If I went back to that door today, I would be the same height that I was many years ago. I stopped growing. Every man does the same thing physically, but worse, many men stop growing spiritually. We get apathetic, complacent, and just plain busy. If we do not make our own personal growth a priority then we will fail to grow. Every guy has a natural desire, or passion for success, an obsession to be the best that we can be. But if we stop growing that passion fades and we become less that what God intended for us to be. We must grow spiritually, mentally, and relationally.
There are many other reasons why this is something very important to me, but these are three fundamental reasons. My desire is to start some kind of mens group in January. We will study things like being a godly husband, father and leader. We will generally read a chapter a week and then meet somewhere to talk about what we read. Don’t worry! I know many of you DO NOT READ, but it will be simple, no more than a page or two per day. I am so excited about growing with you guys!!
Ladies, if you are reading this, get your husband on board… Now don’t freak him out by telling him up that you are signing him up for a mens accountability group. I don’t know if I would go to that either!! 🙂 Just tell him to read this! Thanks!